I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and he was discussing a certain problem he had with his girlfriend. The problem wasn't a big deal at all, he even said so. However, I felt that its concept should be shared.
So, think about a person you really genuinely care about and love. Now, imagine that person is one of those silly people whose conversations only revolve around what they did, where they went, some small talk, what others did, AND THAT'S IT. But it's okay. You love them anyway and since you do, you try to open bigger and much more important subjects, but they don't respond well to that. You aslo talk about real things that you like, things that annoy you, things you experience and feel, and things that are SOLID. But, they don't get it... AT ALL.
While you try to convey and discuss those things, your unconscious intention is basically just to share a piece of who you are; your natural flow. They don't take it that way. I'll give an example so that what I'm talking about would be clearer.
Let's say you have family issues that greatly annoy you and since you have that other person you share what annoys you with them. What you're doing here is being yourself and letting out what you're angry about in order to feel better. The other person takes this "silly" info in and doesn't really comment on it. They never share anything REAL about themselves. You know it. After a while, you and this other person that you "love" have a fight and what they bring out is that "Oh, well yea! you're angry because of all your family issues. Don't let that out on me. Your family is shit and that's why you're that way."
wow......
Was that expected? Did I share my personal things with you so you'd use them AGAINST me? That's horrible.
We actually genuinely share pieces and bits of ourselves not expecting that significant other to do the same, but we'd like it if they did; it's our nature. However, all they do is actually store that information as if it's some kind of weapon to use when a fight stirrs up. What's wrong here is the difference in INTENTIONS. All we wanted is someone to listen and actually care, someone who gets out of the box they're in, looks inside at himself/herself and SEES things; someone real.
Your intents and thoughts oppose theirs. You had NO INTENTS AND THOUGHTS you just feel comfortable with those people and they don't actually see that. Is it a fault? Do you think they're the right people to keep? I don't.
"The
rain began again. It fell heavily, easily, with no meaning or intention
but the fulfilment of its own nature, which was to fall and fall."
-Helen Garner
